Liverpool: The Beanpole and the Vertically-Challenged Right Winger

We got Peter Crouch! YAY!

Ok, I'm not THAT happy about it, since I seem to remember two years (or was it three?) when Aston Villa brought him into the Premiership and he was a hopeless striker who couldn't score to save his life.

Ok, so he scored a lot of goals last season. But still, I really do hope Benitez knows what he is doing. Though I DO agree that Baros should be leaving.

Well, at least Crouch is not a left-back. If he was, he would not have been able to see Shaun Wright-Philips run through his legs whenever we play Chelsea....

SWP... Now THERE'S a player I which Benitez could have bought. Or at least Wayne Routledge (before Spurs got him, of course). God knows we need a right winger, and Luis Figo ain't gonna last more than one season if we DO get him...

Chelsea Financial Chumps: The Fast Way to save your club from Bankruptcy

Having a lot of problems balancing your bank accounts?

No money to buy any players?

Have incredibly vast chasms between the money you get from your pitiful jersey sales and your expenses due to astonomical player's salaries?

Threatened with administration?

Fear not! The answer is here!

Just contact:

CHELSEA FINANCIAL CHUMPS!!!

For immediete cash injection, why look for ANOTHER Russian oil baron when there is already one in the EPL willing to help your club?

Just follow these instructions for an instant 20 million pounds:

1) Pinpoint the best player in your squad. Make sure he trains a lot, and scores lots of goals

2) Make sure he plays REALLY REALLY well throughout the season

3) Make sure he gets a reputation as the 'best player in his position'.

Now comes the tricky part:

4) Try to invite as many Chelsea scouts to see your player as possible

5) If possible, try to win as many FA Cup games as possible to get a game with Chelsea

6) Make sure your best player outplays Frank Lampard or John Terry or scores a hat-trick

7) Now, go to the press and say the following:

CHELSEA WANTS TO BUY MY BEST PLAYER

8) Don't worry whether it's true or not, as long as you whip up the hype. When there is sufficient hype, release THIS story:

REAL MADRID/ARSENAL/MANCHESTER UNITED WANT TO BUY MY BEST PLAYER.

9) Sit back and watch as Chelsea scrambles to buy your best player with a bid of 10 million pounds.

10) Then, release THIS story:

I WILL ONLY SELL MY BEST PLAYER FOR 30 MILLION POUNDS

11) Sit back and wait for Chelsea to bid 20 million pounds. Reject any bid below 20 million pounds.

12) Complete transfer.

VOILA! You now have twenty million pounds in the bank, which you can either use to buy five other players, or clear your club's debt.

So what if your club will now get relegated because you sold your best player? You saved your club from bankruptcy!

(Disclaimer: This guide not apply if you are Manchester United. YOUR problems came from the other side of the Atlantic...)

Liverpool: Owen or Crouch?

So, Liverpool have been 'made aware' that Michael Owen is available for transfer back to Anfield eh? (REF: Liverpool consider deal to bring unhappy Owen home)

Well, THIS is what I have to say to THAT:

Sod that lar.

Do we REALLY need him back? As good as he is, he is pretty much a one trick horse, and having him back might affect the way Liverpool play again. Benitez has an idea of his tactics, throwing Owen in (who is arguably the same type of player as Cisse and Baros - the run an gun type of striker), might disrupt them.

Now, I'm not saying CROUCH might be a better player than Owen, but if Benitez wants him, I say get him, and forget Owen. Crouch would add a different element to the strikeforse. we have Baros (Who might leave), Cisse, and Sinama-Ponggole, all of whom can run very very fast and finish well, we have Morientes, who is a pretty good goal poacher. Crouch could be the team's beanpole, heading goals in or heading the ball on (eh, wait a minute, isn't that what Heskey used to do? Ok, scratch that then).

As Arsene Wenger says, 'TRUST ME'. And I DO trust Benitez to buy the right players (Nunez aside, though the fact that he was exchanged for Owen is pretty ironic eh? eh? Never mind).

Even if Baros leaves, I say Benitez shold use Sinama-Pongolle, Le Tallec or Mellor more. Blood these youngsters. They have the talent.

We don't really need Owen.

And Figo? We need a right winger. Figo is a right-winger. Nuff' said.

Champion's League: Stevie G 3 - 0 Tenaga Nasional

It was a somewhat sluggish match for Liverpool. If the two teams had met later in the middle of the season, TNS would have lost by four five goals.

As it is, a Stevie G hattrick is about right, since the strikers were pretty much still in holiday mood, except for Cisse. All Credit to TNS's goalkeeper too, he had a good night too

As for the new signings, only Reina and Zenden were on the pitch. Zenden actually looked good in the last 20 minutes he came on, crossing the ball more often than Kewell did all of last season... Heh. couldn't resist a dig at Kewell even now.

Pepe Reina only had two things to do all night - one, to save a long range shot, and the other, punching a corner and nailing Riise one in the nose at the same time.

It was nice to see youngsters like Darren Potter, Stephen Warnock and Anthony L Tallec in th squad though. And they were pretty good too (although Le Tallec needs to work on his reaction time and shooting).

All in all, a nice little match. One down, 18 to go then...

Badminton: The Jaguh Kampung Conundrum

Malaysian badminton is in a state of affairs that can only be described as 'who gives a flying fuck?'.

It used to be that we would cheer our shuttlers on at every tournament. The high point of it all was during the 1992 Thomas Cup when almost the entire nation was cheering the team along, and when Cheah Soon Kit and Soo Beng Kiang (or was it Yap Kim Hock?) won, the whole nation rejoiced together with them.

Fast forward to now, and the national badminton players are all pretty low-key now. Frankly, not many people care about the local badminton scene now. Sure, we still have fans turning up at stadiums to cheer the Malaysians on, but nowhere is the hype over badminton as high as it was when we just won the Thomas Cup.

This is just a personal opinion, mind you. I love the sport as much as anyone, but I prefer playing the game rather than watching it. I used to idolized Zhao Jianhua, and loved watching players like Yang Yang and Han Jian playing, because their strokes were frankly brilliant.

But now... I just don't like watching it anymore. It's getting boring.

Anyway, back to Malaysian badminton. Lee Chong Wei just won the Malaysian Open. Well, congratulations to him for successfully defending the crown. But like many have said, he cannot be considered a world-class player until he starts winning OUTSIDE of Malaysia.

Rashid Sidek used to be like that also. Couldn't win any tournaments outside of Malaysia, but when Malaysian Open comes around, wahlau, win every game.

Is it just me, or do Malaysian athletes lack the mentality to perform outside Malaysia? Sure, Hafiz won the All-England some years back, but frankly, I think that was a lucky one-off. What has he achieved since then?

Face it, Malaysian badminton is in the doldrums. Politics, in-fighting and plain laziness and arrogance is proving to be its downfall. If you take a look at other sports, we're not doing so well eighter, mostly because of the SAME reasons.

Thank God then, for our squash players and bowlers. At least we know that Malaysians actually CAN be good at sports. there MAY yet be hope for us after all...

Liverpool: The Rafa Shopping Spree

Gee... even without the 35 million pounds he would have gotten if Stevie G had left, Rafa Benitez is going pretty wild in the transfer market hasn't he?

First, a Spanish goalkeeper, then a Chilean winger, a teenage right-back, and then a Dutch Chelsea-reject.

Now, what's this? FIGO? GALLAS? UPSON? Wow. Maybe Rafa really IS serious about the Premiership title after all. Heh.

Anyway, I reckon we're still short of a right winger, another centreback, and maybe another striker. Sissoko is one for the future, we've too many left wingers now, and Kewell bloody well better ship up or ship out.

Next up, TNS and the begin of one long season...

Liverpoool: Thanks for staying, Stevie G. Now lets get that title!

The past two months have been a real roller-coaster ride for Liverpool supporters.

First, THAT Champion's League win brought us higher than we'd ever been in the past 20 years (in my case, all nine years of supportingthe club).

Then, getting to defend the title despite finishing fifth (albeit starting from the first round).

And just recently, Gerrard's decision to 'leave' brought out the brickbats for the skipper, and sent us crashing back down to the football pitch.

And yesterday, Gerrard decides to stay.

I can't take it anymore.

I'd felt hatred towards Stevie G when he wanted to leave, and when he decided to stay after all, I was sceptical, and afraid that we might have to go through the whole circus again next season.

But then, I read that:

• There are NO get-out clauses in his to-be-signed contract (it may not stop the offers from coming in, but at least it won't be easy for suitors)
• He offered to give up the captaincy (rejected by Rafa)

And my heart softened.

Maybe it REALLY isn't about the money after all (but consider this, if he'd moved to Chelsea, he wouldn't have earned as much as he would have been getting in Liverpool). Maybe it IS the bloody agent's fault after all.

Or maybe, JUST maybe, there he really DOES have a certain thing called loyalty towards his childhood club.

He's still got a lot to prove after putting us through that roller-coaster again. But for what it's worth:

Thanks for staying, Stevie G. Now lets get that Premiereship title!

Liverpool: So, he's decided to stay. NOW what?

I posted the last post about an hour ago, and when I got back from tea, I looked into Soccernet and lo and behold, Gerrard's decided to stay after all.

Soccernet: Parry convinces Gerrard to reconsider

Does this change how I think of him?

Well, to tell the truth, I don't know. I actually DID want him to go, so we could get the money and get more players. But now that he's decided to stay, we don't have to face the problem of finding someone to partner Xabi Alonso.

Yes, I think Xabi Alonso is FAR MORE important to Liverpool right now. Gerrard may be the the heart of the team right now, but Xabi's the future of the club.

Stevie G, you alienated a segment of fans with your 'I WANNA GO' declaration, and this about turn is not gonna change the fact that some of us (yes, me included) think much less of you now.

So, the ball's in your half now. PROVE to us that money isn't everything. PROVE to us that you ARE loyal.

And one final thought on this issue:

GAAAAAH!!!! Now we'll have to endure ANOTHER season of speculating whether he'll leave or not!

Liverpool: The best analysis of the $tevie Geez situation

This was in The Guardian's 'The Fiver' joke/news email newsletter, but is probably the best 'analysis' of the $tevie Geez's 'betrayal' I've read so far. Of course, it takes the piss out of the whole thing and gullible Liverpool supporters in general, but damn me if this isn't a pretty accurate analysis of the team's situation:

Of course, if Liverpool fans spent less time idolising sportsmen who are bewildered by their fanaticism and more time examining the facts, they'd quickly realise that (a) if it's loyalty you're after you should buy a dog and (b) $tevie Me will be no great loss. Yes, he can trap footballs in the giant furrow that is his forehead, but in four of the last five seasons Liverpool have averaged more points per Premiership game played without him than when he's been there cannoning trademark 60-yard passes off pitchside burger vans.

The upshot? With Xabi Alonso on their books, Liverpool are set to trouser well over £30m by way of compensation for losing their second best midfielder. As to where he'll go next: the smart money says Chelsea - who today had a £32m bid rejected - although that suspicious-looking paella van parked outside Anfield could well contain spies from Real Madrid, who admit they're "monitoring the situation". Either way, having already rejected a £100,000-a-week deal to stay at Liverpool, $tevie won't come cheap.

Read the whole thing HERE.

I say, sell the bugger, and use the thirty million pounds to buy another midfielder to partner Xabi Alonso. And a few more players at the same time.

$tevie Geez, this is one road you WILL be walking alone.

So long, and thanks for all the money.

Liverpool: A Farewell For Stevie G (Thanks for the trophies, and your enourmous transfer fee)

Stevie G, Stevie G,
You can't say it's because you can't win a trophy,
You've already won all except one of them already.
Why don't you just come clean and say it's all about the money?
Don't beat around the bush and say the club wants you to leave,
Your excuses are making us feel rather peeved.
If you wanna go then get going A.S.A.P.
So Rafa can spend his 40 million in peace.

Liverpool: Zenden?!?!?!?!

ZENDEN? A left winger who did hardly anything in Boro and Chelsea?

Oh well, we ARE short of left wingers, since all we have are the great Riise, and the not-so-great Kewell. But is Zenden the one we need?

Sigh... I can't seem to shake off the feeling that this might not be such a good idea after all.

Related stories (from football365.com): Zenden heads for Liverpool

In other news, Venus won the women's crown in Wimbledon after a great final against Lindsay Davenport. Not that I watched the match though - my interest in Wimbledon ended after Sharapova lost to Venus in the semis.... sigh...