EPL: I give up

I give up. I can't stand this kind of topsy-turvy form, I can't stand the tension of Champion's League semi-final football being tempered by another week of under-achieving in the EPL.

Carragher, you're the brightest spark in the team. Keep walking (and running!), and most of all, keep defending.
Xabi Alonso, get fitter soon. The team needs you now more than ever
Luis Garcia, score more, give ball away less, ok?
Morientes, Cisse, get used to the EPL quick. We need your goals
Baros, quit your whining and start scoring soon, or you WILL be surplus to requirements
Diouf, will you stop scoring for Bolton already?
Gerrard, go already. You seem to be doing the team more harm than good these days.

Benitez, don't give up on Liverpool. You've done more good than bad in this first season, and we need you to soldier on (and maybe raid Valencia for Aimar or Vicente!)